I've been contemplating how my life would read if it were comprised of the lyrics that have occupied my thoughts lately. Perhaps something like this...
Can I be used to help others find truth
when I am scared that I'll find proof that its a lie
Weep for yourself
you'll never be what is in your heart
When all your fears rain down
I'll take you back a thousand times again
I would sing you songs of innocence
For you were once a child of innocence
God's moving in your bloodstream
where the cross beats aren't so slow
So there you have my life lately in lyric. A mess of Nickel Creek, Mumford and Sons, Future of Forestry and Freelance Whales.
I'm not too sure what "cross beats" are but I think it may mean that sometimes redemption sweeps over you so gradually that you don't notice the small shifts of grace and hope. Redemption moving through your bloodstream where resistance to His movements aren't as strong. At least, for my sake, that's what I'm hoping for.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Rewriting the Plot
Listen to this
This is a song that has been playing in my head for weeks (I recently included it in the third volume of a series of songs that will wreck your soul...in a good way). Something about the honest admission of the absurdity of life intrigues me. I find myself at times growing weary of the plot of this broken life...asking God to rewrite it and come and get us.
Do you ever stop to think about the story we are caught up in? Something has been radically broken. Someone has come to restore what is broken.
These are my thoughts so far on this song. More to come.
"i don't know if reason's ever gonna see why love has come to die"
This is a song that has been playing in my head for weeks (I recently included it in the third volume of a series of songs that will wreck your soul...in a good way). Something about the honest admission of the absurdity of life intrigues me. I find myself at times growing weary of the plot of this broken life...asking God to rewrite it and come and get us.
Do you ever stop to think about the story we are caught up in? Something has been radically broken. Someone has come to restore what is broken.
These are my thoughts so far on this song. More to come.
"i don't know if reason's ever gonna see why love has come to die"
Monday, July 26, 2010
lessons shelved
Transition.
Change.
Anticipation.
These words demand to define my life as of late. Some people may associate these words with excitement ,challenge, and adventure. I tend to associate these words with instability and disharmony. A few weeks ago a friend and I were reading through the book "Understanding How Others Misunderstand You". My personality fits well with the "Steadiness" behavior style. "S" people don't like change in fact the book tells me "the basic fears of the "S" are disharmony and instability". A few pages later "the S deals with this stress by sleeping". How does a book know me so well! This is too funny. So as I face a new semester, a new job, and a new house I am met with the anticipation of both pain and growth (and apparently a lot of sleep too).
and here is when things get better....
Clearing off my bookshelves I discovered a paper crisply folded yet crammed between the dog-eared pages of an old planner. Forgotten notes scribbled during one of my undergrad counseling classes outlining the process of change we all go through when faced with discomfort and pain. Underneath the outline only a few sentences were written:
To the degree that we have sinned or been sinned against we can not love.
Some pain stays with us for the length of our life but we learn to no longer compensate for it.
Some people suffer and become broken bread and poured out wine.
There will be some events in life that trigger old responses of pain and hurt. There will be some events in life that appear to threaten our sense of stability and peace. It is the hope of redemption that invites us to look with new eyes as our wounds are transformed into broken bread and poured out wine.
and we will choose to live from love and not fear.
Change.
Anticipation.
These words demand to define my life as of late. Some people may associate these words with excitement ,challenge, and adventure. I tend to associate these words with instability and disharmony. A few weeks ago a friend and I were reading through the book "Understanding How Others Misunderstand You". My personality fits well with the "Steadiness" behavior style. "S" people don't like change in fact the book tells me "the basic fears of the "S" are disharmony and instability". A few pages later "the S deals with this stress by sleeping". How does a book know me so well! This is too funny. So as I face a new semester, a new job, and a new house I am met with the anticipation of both pain and growth (and apparently a lot of sleep too).
and here is when things get better....
Clearing off my bookshelves I discovered a paper crisply folded yet crammed between the dog-eared pages of an old planner. Forgotten notes scribbled during one of my undergrad counseling classes outlining the process of change we all go through when faced with discomfort and pain. Underneath the outline only a few sentences were written:
To the degree that we have sinned or been sinned against we can not love.
Some pain stays with us for the length of our life but we learn to no longer compensate for it.
Some people suffer and become broken bread and poured out wine.
There will be some events in life that trigger old responses of pain and hurt. There will be some events in life that appear to threaten our sense of stability and peace. It is the hope of redemption that invites us to look with new eyes as our wounds are transformed into broken bread and poured out wine.
and we will choose to live from love and not fear.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
forgotten significance
I found this (piano?) leaning outside against a wall of a junk store. I was drawn to it because of its intricacy and its forgotten significance. I wonder who it belonged to once upon a time. I wonder what led its owner to abandon it.
Abandoned but still possessing beauty.
Friday, May 7, 2010
music for your friday
I found this guy's music on you tube. I keep coming back to this cover. Enjoy your friday!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rcmS9evyN4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rcmS9evyN4
Sunday, April 25, 2010
dealing well with disappointment
I read an interview the other week with Jennifer Knapp. It ushered me into a place of unexpected emotions. Anger, confusion, and disappointment swirled around in my head along with a myriad of thoughts. Unexpected because this emotion was aimed at the interviewer, not Jennifer Knapp. I was angry at the way the interviewer posed his questions. He even prefaced one with "I understand, but I'm curious....." No, you don't understand if the guiding purpose of your question is to satisfy your curiosity. Why did he feel compelled to clarify if she traveled alone or with her partner? Why ask how long they have been together? How do the answers to these questions help us love Christ or love one another? They don't, they only allow us to gather stones.
Maybe the interviewer was attempting to reconcile his faith with her choice. Maybe he was attempting to navigate the tension between expectation and disappointment.
We are all wanting the Easter morning story. Tell us your stories of struggle but only if there is victory at the end. If Jennifer Knapp came out and then in the same interview said by the blood of Christ she overcame those desires and is now happily married to a man with 2.5 kids the Christian community would hail her as a hero of the faith. But that isn't her story. And we don't know what to do with that. And maybe I don't know what to do with that.
This is the story of our faith.
Death defeated. Yet we still die
Sin conquered. Yet our backs still ache with its weight
A promised living hope. Yet despair is a daily acquaintance
I heard a song recently by Noah Gundersen. Cover your ears about 1:37 seconds into it. Just warning you. The honesty of his questions gripped me and left an unsettling feeling. I originally found this on someone's blog and the comments were your typical "I'll be praying for Noah". Why is that our first reaction when someone has experienced profound disappointment with our faith? Why not examine our hearts and repent of the sins that may have contributed to his disappointment?
If we are called to be rooted in community this means we share in one another joys as well as (and maybe even more so) in the brokenness and disappointed hopes that litter the landscape of our faith. Our savior conquered but He also suffered well. Doubt seems to be the ever present shadow of faith. There is beauty in our story. There is mystery. There is certainty but there is also a terrifying unknown. There is disappointment but there is also steadfast hope.
May we learn to walk well the tightrope between disappointment and hope. This is the story of our faith. It is a beautiful mess of redemption.
Maybe the interviewer was attempting to reconcile his faith with her choice. Maybe he was attempting to navigate the tension between expectation and disappointment.
We are all wanting the Easter morning story. Tell us your stories of struggle but only if there is victory at the end. If Jennifer Knapp came out and then in the same interview said by the blood of Christ she overcame those desires and is now happily married to a man with 2.5 kids the Christian community would hail her as a hero of the faith. But that isn't her story. And we don't know what to do with that. And maybe I don't know what to do with that.
This is the story of our faith.
Death defeated. Yet we still die
Sin conquered. Yet our backs still ache with its weight
A promised living hope. Yet despair is a daily acquaintance
I heard a song recently by Noah Gundersen. Cover your ears about 1:37 seconds into it. Just warning you. The honesty of his questions gripped me and left an unsettling feeling. I originally found this on someone's blog and the comments were your typical "I'll be praying for Noah". Why is that our first reaction when someone has experienced profound disappointment with our faith? Why not examine our hearts and repent of the sins that may have contributed to his disappointment?
If we are called to be rooted in community this means we share in one another joys as well as (and maybe even more so) in the brokenness and disappointed hopes that litter the landscape of our faith. Our savior conquered but He also suffered well. Doubt seems to be the ever present shadow of faith. There is beauty in our story. There is mystery. There is certainty but there is also a terrifying unknown. There is disappointment but there is also steadfast hope.
May we learn to walk well the tightrope between disappointment and hope. This is the story of our faith. It is a beautiful mess of redemption.
Friday, April 2, 2010
graveyards
Is this a graveyard to bury her heart or is it a garden where new life will start?
This question posed by Sleeping at Last's song "Keep No Score" reverberates in my mind as Easter approaches. Why does God seem to promise life only after a death has occurred? Ever feel like there are some years when your need for Easter feels more prominent than in years past? This is my year.
I've known of the gospel story for most of my life but somehow this year is different for me. January and February were months that appeared to be marked by death. The trees held lifeless branches. The skies were gray. The ground was cracked posing threat to any flower that would dare grow. There were a few weeks when the wind chapped my skin (and you know how angry I am when I am cold). The hope of spring was so far away.
Then one Sunday morning I saw a wildflower. Then a patch of wildflowers. Bright reds and blues sprinkled the once brown barren landscape. The sun began to shine with more intensity. Every year I am shocked when spring finds its way past winters threat. To breathe life into what has been dead. To bring hope in despair. To remind me that there is always life after death.
Is this a graveyard to bury her heart or is it a garden where new life will start?
What seems like death is really an invitation to greater life.
happy easter.
He is risen.
amen and amen
This question posed by Sleeping at Last's song "Keep No Score" reverberates in my mind as Easter approaches. Why does God seem to promise life only after a death has occurred? Ever feel like there are some years when your need for Easter feels more prominent than in years past? This is my year.
I've known of the gospel story for most of my life but somehow this year is different for me. January and February were months that appeared to be marked by death. The trees held lifeless branches. The skies were gray. The ground was cracked posing threat to any flower that would dare grow. There were a few weeks when the wind chapped my skin (and you know how angry I am when I am cold). The hope of spring was so far away.
Then one Sunday morning I saw a wildflower. Then a patch of wildflowers. Bright reds and blues sprinkled the once brown barren landscape. The sun began to shine with more intensity. Every year I am shocked when spring finds its way past winters threat. To breathe life into what has been dead. To bring hope in despair. To remind me that there is always life after death.
Is this a graveyard to bury her heart or is it a garden where new life will start?
What seems like death is really an invitation to greater life.
happy easter.
He is risen.
amen and amen
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