chasms and belief and doubt

If you want to experience something weird just listen to yourself explain the gospel to someone who has not grown up in the church. That was me last week. "You see Christ's righteousness---uhh let me first explain righteousness" "well you have to have faith--and faith is like sitting in a chair or walking a tightrope extended across the Niagara Falls-or at least that's what someone told me. So basically it is all about grace. and sitting in a chair. Do you have any questions?" Okay I'm exaggerating I did not mention any of those chair/tightrope analogies this time. But have you ever experienced this?

Last week as I sat across from this girl who was holding the most receptive heart I felt the chasm between my inability to help her grasp the gospel and her own appetite for truth. I don't know if she left with any of her questions answered but I trust that Christ will allow His words to cling to her soul and one day she will get it. I kept thinking "I wish I could believe for you but there are many days when I barely believe enough for myself". I resonate with the man who confessed his faith and doubt to Christ in the same breath. Lord I believe help my unbelief.

They say that some people have to hear the gospel an average of seven times before they grasp it-don't know how they calculated this (or even who "they" are) but I had to hear the gospel for 17 years before it rang true in my soul.

I once heard the gospel compared to an ocean whose depths not even the greatest minds could exhaust but whose gentle waves even the smallest child could play in and enjoy. I guess I'm somewhere in between playing on the shores and swimming the hidden depths.